FREEBIRD/OH TO BE SUCH A THING!

Like, motorbikes and weed, man. I mean, this movie is. So if you do, like, like such things, man, you are likely to like this. It is definitely a trip.

It all starts so well, like most things that go wrong. A blazing against type performance from sauve Peter Bowles as a definitely OTT drug lord asking a stoned mate, the excellent Gary Stretch, to pop down to Wales to purchase a few bales of the best leaf the UK has ever seen.

Biker Stretch is reluctant to take on the task – or maybe he is just too lost in smoke for the moment – but he is used to running errands for Bowles and lassoes his two nutty cronies, the brilliant tough Geoff Bell and loser Phil Daniels, into joining him.

Hey, what could be easier? A quick buzz down the open asphalt of the M4, a few hours frolicking in the Welsh hills, free as the birds, and back to town to exchange the organic greenery for a load of dosh!

Ah, if only it was not for the ludes and weaponry they were packing, which dooms them to trouble.

Oh, and the fact that they don’t actually know how to find the remote hippie who is growing the weed wild.

Oh, oh! And the fact that there is a Welsh biker gang led by a metal headed giant (pictured sunning himself, above) bent on exacting revenge on any visiting English bikers that same weekend.

Talk about a warning tale to put you off drugs forever!

In short, as with lunches, there is no such thing as a Freebird. Sooner or later the wild at heart have to pay the bill.

But, of course, it is all just an amusing story, the kind of thing you might come up with if, well, is you had had a few too many tokes. It is lovingly filmed, with much stroking of classic bikes, an abundance of amiable blokish banter and various beautiful landscapes that the Welsh Tourist Board will be proud of. Except for the homicidal bikers spoiling it, of course.

Some film buffs will feel there should be more plot and less action. But, like, if you can chill out for a bit, go with the flow, you might well just like Freebird, like.

Freebird opens February 1, 2008 in London and other key cities.

For loads of heady information, check http://www.freedompicturecompany.com

Filed January 11, 2008.